Question
I started meditating about four months ago in an attempt to manage law school stress. I've set my practice (imperfectly) to 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at night. I'll cut to the chase: I see intense, vibrant shapes and patterns when i meditate. My closed-eye visuals range from undulating tapestries and planetary orbs to certain repeat-player animal shapes to light tunnels. I wasn't surprised by this because ever since I was little I've experienced these types of visuals - particularly bright colored, elaborate tapestries - pretty much whenever i close my eyes. Perhaps it bears mentioning that I remember this occurring way before any college-age drug experimentation took place.
Anyway, I just assumed everyone had this, that it was some sort of blood-in-the-retina situation with a very dry scientific explanation. However, when I casually mentioned one of my recently reoccurring visions (of saturn - and no, i'm not into astrology) to a friend who also meditates, her reaction alarmed me. She seemed dumbfounded. Upon further investigation, I fast learned that the vast majority of people don't experience anything like this. So my question to you is: what the f is going on? Is there an explanation?
Thanks!!
Answer
Hi, Anna.
I remember having something similar when I was a kid. When I closed my eyes, I would see almost like a movie playing in what was distinctly a small, framed screen. It reminded me of a wrestling ring because you would only see the small lighted, square area in the middle of darkness.
These visions are fascinating in a way, aren't they? Also, discovering that other people don't experience them, there is a sense of being special and unique, which is probably added to by the fact that the experiences are private. They're inside me where other people can't see them, even if they wanted to.
You asked if there is an explanation. Many people ask if these experiences have any meaning. You didn't ask that specifically.
I'm sure there is a neurological explanation. But if you want to find out if there is any value in these experiences, even if it's just entertainment, I think you will need to take some time to stick with it and see what happens. I imagine that these visual images occur most strongly when you can be still and are not putting additional information into the brain, meaning you aren't reading, watching TV, listening to music, talking to people. Meditation usually involves "unplugging" from these loud, external inputs in order to be able to hear what is happening inside more subtly.
If you can give yourself a little more time of doing this, you can watch what happens when the nervous system gets a good, refreshing holiday from constant input. You can find out what happens if the visioning is given enough chance to do what it needs to do.
You might also observe what other kind of sensory awareness there is when the visions are going on. Does the watching of the visions prevent you from feeling the weight of the body on the chair or floor, the small sounds around you, the feel of air on the skin? Or can all of this - which is actually present, just not usually noticed - be experienced as well as the visions?
There is a great deal that becomes noticeable when we take enough time to quietly listen. In fact, there is a whole wide world that may eventually become noticeable. The usual boundaries that we live in can start to fade and open up, become transparent, so that we feel our interconnectedness with everything around us, not abstractly or intellectually, but directly, right here.
Sitting still is probably helpful for destressing from law school studies. Part of destressing is the nervous system sort of throwing off random overload in the form of sensations, visions, dreams, etc. But there is also this possibility of opening more deeply to what we are, beyond what we know and what we control. If you have extra time to devote to this deep listening without knowing, you may find that it is bottomless.
If you have some additional questions or if I haven't been very clear about something, please feel free to write back.
Best,
Jay Cutts
