Question
Hello - I just have a question about how it is exactly that we should perceive and act on our thoughts while we are meditating. Should we simply let our thoughts flow, and not try to stop them or interfere, while simply remaining detached and observing them? Or should we forcefully stop thoughts when they arise and return to the breath?
You see, when I try to deliberately stop my thoughts, I find that I tend to get headaches from doing it. It seems like I am very much focused when I do that, as I am entirely focused on the breath and doing my best to stop any arising thoughts, but I don't feel calm at all and often my mind and even body just feel tense from exerting my will on my mind (hence the headaches - I can even feel how stopping certain thoughts causes a little spike of pain in whichever part of my head I feel that thought was).
On the other hand, when I just observe the transient thoughts, I find it is much harder to focus. Since I'm not trying to stop the thoughts, I find it is much easier to get caught up in them. I can still get a good sitting of meditation in (it's not like I can't focus at all), but I can definitely tell that I am lost in my thoughts more often. However, my headaches in that case are almost non-existent, and I often feel more at ease, like my meditation goes 'smoother'.
Which method should we do? Should we try to find a balance? You see, it seems to me that stopping thoughts is somewhat counter-productive. Aren't we just letting the thoughts in through the back door in that case, making judgements about thoughts and labeling them as bad?
Thank you for your time,
Nicolaas
Answer
Dear Nicolaas
Simply be aware of your thoughts without judgment. When you can relax and let your thoughts flow without judging them, then start focusing on the spaces between the thoughts. Practice staying in the spaces between thoughts. Eventually your mind will subside.
