Question
Hi there, I am wondering if there is a specific mudra or breathing exercise or meditation you can tell me of that will help me deal with a domineering intrusive father who keeps trying to control me. I would like to deal with this situation in a peaceful manner as often talking about it with him either keeps things the same or makes them worse so I am focusing now on working on myself from within so that my external reality changes. any help on this? thanks :)
Answer
Hello NG,
Thank you very much for your question. All parents can be very challenging when it comes to their children paving their own way in this life. Often times it is difficult for a parent to distinguish gentle guidance from dominance. It is my belief, that at best most parents want to keep their children from making the same mistakes they made in their lives. At worst, they desire for their children not to "outshine" them. So the child can sometimes become a reflection of the lost opportunities of the parent's life. I say this to offer a perspective that is sometimes overlooked. Regardless of the parent's motivations, it is your life to live, your successes to make and your mistakes from which to learn. I will also say you are focusing your efforts very much in the right direction, on you. We can not, no matter how hard we try, change others. The best we can hope for is to be an example for others to emulate. So it is with sincerity that I say continue to seek your own answers and truth. The world as you know will begin to shift and align with that truth.
I have provided the before mentioned information because by simply refocusing your efforts on you, you will begin to establish that boundary. Your father will most likely not like it and it is possible your relationship could be strained. That tension will be to test your resolve to live in your own light. It is also possible that you may lose the relationship you currently have with him if he is unwilling to allow you to grow into your own being. On the other side of that coin, there is also the opportunity to create a space for having a new relationship with him. That space would be from a place of honoring both your life and him as your father. I do hope you find this information useful. Should you have additional questions, please feel free to let me know. I wish you all the best. Be well.
Regards,
Coninyah B. Dew L.Ac., M.S.O.M.
Acupuncture Stress and Pain Management Practices
