Question
Dear john,
Thankyou for your quick reply. I noticed in your message you said you think my eating disorder has is connected to my childhood. I agree and I spoke with a cousin who is a psychic and she said my spirit guides told her it resulted due to bullying but they wont tell me anything more. The thing is I was bullied by my sister from 6-12 and then for a period of time at school from 12-15 by other girls and an ex boyfriend. I dont know where I should be focussing my attention. I know its a long shot but any suggestions?
-------------------------------------------
The text above is a follow-up to ...
-----Question-----
Hello, You mentioned you had an interest in feeling, healing and understanding emotions. I have had an eating disorder for 3 years and have had counselling, hypnotherapy etc but this has only eased it a little. I realise theres no quick fix for this but how could I go about exploring my feelings and trying to heal myself if possible. Thankyou for any help you can give me
-----Answer-----
Hi Alana,
Eating, smoking, drinking, drugs, working, fitness, cleaning etc. all compulsive behavior is a way avoid and deny what one is feeling. To begin to understand and heal your emotions the next time you want to eat, don't eat and instead, grab a pen and paper and begin to write down what you are feeling or what you don't want to feel. Don't just write and then eat... force yourself not to eat... and every time you want to eat.. try to find out why. Ask your self questions like who, what, where when, where, why and how and when you get an answer, ask again and keep asking... until you get to the truth...
I'm not saying NEVER eat, but you know when regular meal times are and what is considered a normal serving. Most people also eat 2 to 3 times more than what they really need to maintain a healthy body.
You can also begin by writing what happened to you three years ago, but I feel that it has its roots further back into your childhood... it's just that three years ago it finally surfaced....
Let me know what you find.
John
Answer
Hi Alana,
If as a child, you are being bullied and have no one to help you stop the bullying, what you do is to try to solve the problem yourself... For me it was that I had decided that if I was stronger and harder... then they couldn't hurt me... You made the choice to be BIGGER and so you began to eat to grow and get bigger so that you would not be bullied... It all makes perfect sense to a small child... but we carry that belief and program with us all our lives because we haven't healed the part of us that was small and helpless...
When we have a traumatic experience or experiences, we fragment.. By that I mean that a piece of our energy (ourselves) is forced to be outside of us... We then go though life looking for love and trying to fill the hole that is within us (the missing piece or pieces) by finding a person, place or thing to fill it... Now in your case.. food gives you instant pleasure,, fills the hole.. but it doesn't last because that is not what is missing in you... What the food does do, is to make you even BIGGER... because that is what your body is programmed to...
Finding that lost fragment and expressing what it couldn't express and bringing it back within you is what will make you whole... and will also end your compulsive eating habit... Feeling what you are feeling when you want to eat will help bring you into awareness of your fragment... Allow yourself to express any and all emotions that you feel, even anger and rage... but make it your intent not to harm yourself or anyone else or anything when this anger surfaces... Writing your feelings in a journal is also a good way to begin to bring these lost memories to the surface if you have trouble verbally expressing them...
Regards,
John
