Question
Jay,
I have never successfully meditated (except for one time in math class :P), but have been interested in exploring meditation.
So, sometimes while I am lying in bed I will try to relax and let everything fall away. Soon after this, I start getting this terribly frightening numb sensation all over my body. It feels as though my whole body is "asleep" (the same sensation as when your foot has fallen "asleep" and then it tingles as it "wakes up." I could also describe it as feeling as though I am very drugged (as one feels right before passing out from laughing gas at the dentist, or after some very strong "natural" substances). If I don't stop meditating, I start feeling very cold.
As I said, its a pretty frightening feeling, and not pleasant at all, and wondered if this was a normal sensation in meditation.
Thank you for your time,
Aaron
Answer
Hi, Aaron.
You say "if I don't stop meditating" the unpleasant sensation continues and you feel very cold. I wonder what it is exactly that you do when you stop "meditating" that eliminates this numb feeling. Do you physically move in some way? You say the meditation is relaxing and letting things fall away. When you stop, do you tense up somehow (the opposite of relaxing)? Do you hold onto something (the opposite of letting things fall away)?
Can you watch this process very carefully to notice what contributes to this numbness and what relieves it? Is it some physical shifting in the body, in the diaphragm, elsewhere? Is there a mental or emotional shift that leads to the physical shift?
I wonder how you are normally able to fall asleep, since it seems that to fall asleep one has to relax and let go.
Meditation in its simplest is nothing other than allowing what is actually going on to be revealed. In our common state of mind this is not what is happening. Instead the mind is usually reacting to what it thinks is going. To see what is really going on requires the reacting to be put aside, to slow down or stop. This can happen if there is a real interest in seeing what is really here, what has been missed in all of the day's reactivity.
You might try sitting up comfortably on a couch or easy chair and see if it is possible to notice the physical sensations, the space around you, as well as the internal thinking and imaging. If there is tension that does not want to go away, just to notice it subtley, where it sits, the feeling of it and not to force relaxation. Maybe sitting up will not cause the numbness. If it does, maybe try some other postures, such as lying on your side or stomach.
Does this numbness ever start to happen in other situations or postures? Does it ever happen lying down when you are not trying to meditate? It seems strange that it would only happen in this very narrow setting of lying down and trying to relax but not at any other time.
If it does not feel physically threatening or like some damage is being done to the body, you might try just sticking with this sensation when it happens to find out if it continues, gets worse, gets better, disappears or just changes into something else.
Do you tend to easily have other strong, uncomfortable physical reactions to things around you?
I will be interested to hear how you are able to procede with this.
Best,
Jay
