Question
hi
dear respected sir i want to gain some information from u that what is the difference between mediation and youga
secondly i want to know that which technique is more benfical for attaning self confidence,mediation or youga.
the other thing i want to share with u is that i have very low confidence,and i am facing lot of difficulties from this problem.how can i minimize it through mediation.
Answer
Hi, Waqas.
The word meditation can refer to many different kind of mental techniques. I use the word to refer to something else: sitting quietly being in touch with what is happening inside and outside.
This sitting in what we can call simple presence is a simple thing but it does not happen easily, because our nervous systems are trained to react instantly to all sorts of things that are considered either danger signals or pleasant things we should try to get. If one is interested enough, these inner reactions and movements away from pain and toward pleasure can actually be seen very directly.
So instead of my getting angry about something, I actually see the pattern of anger in myself - for example a sense of being insulted that sets it off, what I think I should do about being insulted, as well as the memory of how exhausting the whole process is because I have done it again and again, and how it just alienates other people, and maybe how underneath it all there is a sense of disappointment that people don't support or love me. All of this can actually be recognized in an instant, just as a sudden smell tells you in an instant that you have left a pot on the stove and that it has rice in it and that it has just boiled over because you forgot to turn it down and that the spilled rice water is starting to get burnt.
If you start taking time for yourself to sit quietly with yourself and listen to what you are inside and outside, it will start to become easier to see the patterns and reactions that usually dominate our personalities. Actually you don't need to worry about trying to see something. You only need to let your body and mind come to a bit of quietness, by sitting in a comfortable but alert position and not trying to do anything in particular with the mind, other than just being awake and sensitive to what is happening.
If you can do this regularly and with interest, you may be surprised to find how noisy the mind usually is and how restless it usually is. This is ok. It is very, very helpful to remember that there is no "correct" state of mind. Any state of mind can be revealed in simple presence. You can start to notice that there is this kind of presence that lets things be seen but is not part of the ongoing, constantly changing states of mind. This presence is a very simple thing. You can discover it for yourself.
What about this low confidence that you say you have? I don't know what it is. This is for you to find out more and more deeply for yourself. Perhaps the first two steps are to not identify with it and to acknowledge that you don't really know what it is and what's behind it.
By not identifying with it, I mean you can notice that it is not "what you are". It's certainly not all of what you are. You can see that, right now, as you read this that the part of you that goes to your computer and reads this message and thinks about it and wonders about your life is part of "you" but is not part of "low self confidence". Also the feel of the chair underneath you, the feel of air on the skin, the sound of a fan or hum of the computer, the movement of people around you - isn't this also part of who you are at this moment? It has nothing to do with low self confidence. Even if you are not feeling confident right now, these other things are happening here now and are not part of that low confidence feeling.
If you think about it, you may say that your life is dominated by low confidence but if you look directly right now, moment to moment, you may find that your actual moment to momentlife is not the same as how you think about it.
The second step I am thinking about I described as acknowledging that you don't really know what this reaction that you are calling low confidence really is or what's behind it. If you search your memory, you may have strong impressions of it. But if you actually watch it as it comes up, it may not be what you have thought.
Since this is an important issue to and since it has affected your life, maybe you will have the energy and interest to watch this any time it comes up. Maybe you can do this patiently, not expecting to wipe it out quickly. Remember that you don't even know what "it" is. You can only find out by patient, careful watching.
I am sure you already have observed a lot about your low confidence reaction. So clearly the observations so far have not opened it up enough. If you can keep looking with a thorough honesty, letting go of everything you know, this may open the way for deeper understanding as you, without even knowing it, let go of yourself competely and enter this simple presence that doesn't belong to anyone and yet in which everything exists.
Sitting quietly and being open in the middle of reaction are two aspects that work together in our life. The more you sit quietly and listen to yourself inside and outside, the easier it is for this to happen as you interact with people or move through your life.
Please let me know if I have not been very clear or have not understood something about what you are asking. I will be interested to hear how this goes if you try it.
Jay
