Question
Hi, I have been meditating for a couple of years now. The technique I learned is to focus on my lower belly and attempt to concentrate on the gentle sensations of my breath as I inhale, retain the breath, exhale and hold again in a ratio of 1:1:1:1 (or something like it). When my concentration moves from my breath I gently focus again on the area just below my naval. This is all I do during meditation. I was told not to worry about doing it 'right' and that sitting with eyes closed was bennefitial in itself, even without any intentional 'meditation'.
I used to think I was making some sort of progress. I used to feel all kinds of sensations during meditation and when I finally emerged I would feel deeply relaxed and almost as though I had smoked cannibis. I'm not sure if this was a good sign but it felt glorious and was a good incentive to continue.
These days I feel a bit like I have lost contact with what I had then. I seem to loose concentation and get caught up in thoughts more than I used to and that 'stoned' feeling has almost gone. I'm not sure whether I should interpret this as progress (having realised a restless mind that was there all along) or as a step back (having lost the concentration I had previously).
Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
Mark
Answer
Mark, I should tell you right off the bat that my meditation is more dynamic. I meditate while doing things of a relatively simple nature, like walking at night. Of course, I see where I'm going but I find this kind of moving mediation works for me. I no longer sit and try to force things. Or to regulate things.
Once in a while if I'm somewhat stressed from lots of downtown driving I may go into some traditional forms of tai chi or yoga. But for the most part it's just being aware while living.
One of my professors of Asian phil. once called this the "double aperture" approach. He meant that we should be conscious of our world around us and also of our inner, contemplative life -- both at the same time.
Of course, there will be degrees of focus/concentration along a continuum of 'really looking in' to 'really looking out.' When I drive, for instance, I must of course be 100% eyes on the road, so it would not be a great time to emphasize the inner!
If you could try to flexibly integrate both sides of your life, in a way that you are truly comfortable with, then that might help.
As for the stoned feeling, if you ever did pot you might have been having bio-based experiences. Apparently THC stays in the brain cells for about 7 years. After that time, I think one is cleansed. If I remember right, it's stored in fatty cells. So if one loses weight they might get that stoned feeling, as you say.
But I'm not an M.D. so I urge you to double check these medical particulars.
To sum, maybe it's time to try something new. Do you like doing exercise? The body's natural endorphins are great and also good for you.
I hope this helps.
