Question
Respected sir,
I am boy of 16 years of age.I my school i am very alone because i am slightly thin and a slightly weak body i have(i.e due to my appearance) so no one is interested in me.They(not all)neglect me. My mind is always thinking of it.I cannot get it off my mind.I am so attached to it and thereby i cannot concentrate on my studies.
Buddha says that one should develop total detachment towards these worldy stress.But i can't.Please help me.Kindly tell me as i have to develop detachment or do something else.
Also there is one more question.
Should a spiritual seeker must be detached to his friend(who loves him,who cares about him,who would give his life for him etc.)
thanking you
Answer
Jeya,
I also was thin and weak when I was your age and younger. I had no real friends and I did not play with other children. Children can be very mean and my life was mostly lonely and unhappy.
Unfortunately, many of us grow up with problems. Sometimes they are very visible problems like being blind or deaf. Sometimes they are problems that only we know about, like being abused by family friends or family members. Our problems can bring us physical or emotional pain. Unfortunately, many such problems are not detected or helped by a society that does not seem to care, or by parents who do not seem to care. Such is life in the field of suffering, in the field of ignorance.
But it is possible to rise above our problems, even when they cannot actually be solved on their own level. Buddha and other spiritual leaders taught that it was not by individual effort that this is done, but by the expansion of consciousness through the genuine knowledge of life, a knowledge that is unfortunately still rare due to misunderstanding.
Buddha demonstrated in his own life how effective meditation can transform life, removing us from the wheel of suffering and bringing the liberation of universal love and bliss.
Effective meditation is an automatic, Divine process involving the reduction of effort. In daily life we are always trying to do something, to accomplish some goal. In effective meditation we renounce such effort, and begin to experience our inner consciousness without effort, innocently. This brings a fourth state of consciousness, transcendental consciousness, to our life to complement the other three states, waking, dreaming, and deep sleep. By experiencing even a few minutes of transcendental consciousness each day, we feel expanded inside, as a boat can be anchored even in the midst of a storm.
So, the answer to your question is that the development of detachment is not done by you, but by your mind, automatically, when you practice meditation correctly.
Specifically, I recommend Transcendental Meditation (www.tm.org) or, if it is not available where you live or you cannot afford its high prices, NSR Meditation (www.nsrusa.org).
I hope this answer helps. If you still need specific answers, they are these: do not culture detachment from your friends and family. Such detachment can only lead to further suffering by them and by you.
David Spector
President,
NSR Meditation/USA
