Question
I have always had a call to seek spirituality. Through various religions, yoga, and spirituality. It has been something that I have been seeking since my earliest memories. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with type 1 bipolar disorder and put on psychotropic medications. I have worked my way off most meds (I still rely on an anitepilleptic med to prevent suicide thoughts, and a benzodiazepine to lessen racing thoughts). I need these medications to physically correct imbalances in my brain (I have also participated in psychotherapy since this all began).
I am so frustrated now because I cannot seem to "beat" the medication block in my mind. These medications have diffuse side effects for me that I have come to simply explain by saying that "i'm just not as smart as I used to be". It is harder to study (I am in graduate school), harder to focus, harder to sleep, and harder to meditate. I have become stagnant in my spiritual life and I am frustrated. Are there any strategies I can use that can help me overcome the effects of these medications and be able to meditate more fully and effectively? Any info would be of much help. THank you!
Answer
Hi Emily
Well you started out right, then you went off track. By that I mean that you had the tool (Meditation) to help you heal your issues, but then you went for the modern quick fix, of treating the symptom and not addressing the cause, with the use of drugs... The reason that drugs seem to work, is that they numb your mind in order to suppress the emotions by making the mind too numb to feel them. Besides that, drugs also create side effects in the physical body causing other physical, emotional and mental issues.
My advice is to first get off the drugs and clear your body and mind. Then use meditation/visualization to help you find and heal the root cause. It's not always going to be easy as you are going to have to face what you have been trying to deny, that has been causing your depression, stress, anxiety, etc, etc. but you can heal without drugs, or using psychotherapy where the person has no “personal” experience in the methods he/she is using, and is just going “by the book” and usually focusing on being “positive” and life style changes.
Speaking of books, I’m in the process of finishing my book on using meditation/visualization as a tool for self-empowerment and healing and it should be ready in a month as a PDF.. In the mean while, there is information on my websites where I already share some of the material. www.saysame.com
